Pondering - truth you might already know [part 1]

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.



2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.



3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore, than standing

in a garage makes you a car.



4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.



5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never

tried before.



6. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.



7. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice

person.



8. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.



9. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.



10. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.



11. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.



12. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.



13. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.



14. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.



15. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.



16. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the

waist change places.