Men are like suckers... Sweet untill you get to the stick!!
Men are like toilet paper there only good for one thing.......wiping you ass on!!
Men are like Sports cars too small, too high maintenance, and always trying to pick up your friends.
Men are like the sun, they all think the world revolves around them.
Men are like weather reports you really shouldn't believe a word they say.
Men are like martinis one isn't enough and two is usually too many.
Men are like taxi cabs,there's usually another one coming along any minute.
Men are like ladybugs,you actually feel bad squashing the cute ones.
Men are like new shoes,.once you break them in, they're fun to walk on.
Men are like earthquakes sometimes they make you want to scream and run out of the building.
Men are like Chinese food,a half an hour later you're ready for something new.
Men are like houseplants, very intelligent, but you're still supposed to talk to them.
Men are like library books,there are still millions you haven't checked out.
Men are like mannequins,it's impossible to get that blank look off their faces
Men are like easter eggs, they‘re hollow ....
Men are like... Pokemon
Ya gotta catch em all! You don’t win with jus one. Each has a certain quality a woman needs. And if you come across one that is mean to you, you have your other men beat him up!
Men are like...Birth control...something always pops up and doesnt always work out as planned.
Men are like...
Vegetables in a supermarket. The good ones are hard to find.
Men are like cola... lovely and bubbly but soon go flat.
Men are like kettles... they get all hot and steamy when you plug them in but then they go off.
Men are like aeroplanes... sometimes they fly, and sometimes they crash + burn.
Men are like... fire
Fun to look at, lots of colors, and they always burn out without more fuel.
Showing posts with label How to make women laugh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How to make women laugh. Show all posts
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Monday, January 10, 2011
joke email: GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
joke emails :GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada – cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran – ruled by a couple of nuts
THE END.
p/s: click here for more tips on how to make a woman laugh
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada – cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran – ruled by a couple of nuts
THE END.
p/s: click here for more tips on how to make a woman laugh
Thursday, February 4, 2010
forward email: What women want
I'm worth a lot!
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman :"What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and ask,
"Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."
She began to expound...
"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills.
I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more."
"I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.
She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man."
"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster."
"I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded."
"I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."
When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, " You're asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot."
Learn how you can make women laugh here
Monday, May 11, 2009
Joke email: The Perfect Day According to ...
The Perfect Day According to ... HIM
10:00am Wake up
10:02am Oral sex
10:15am Big breakfast
11:30am Drive up the coast in Ferrari with gorgeous blonde with big jugs
2:15pm Enormous lunch
3:00pm Oral sex
3:15pm Play sports with the guys
4:00pm Drink beer with guys
6:00pm Meet Claudia Schiffer
6:10pm Oral sex
6:25pm Huge dinner, more beer
11:00pm Full on, get down, gorilla sex
The Perfect Day According to ... HER
8:45am Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00am 5 pounds lighter on the scale
9:30am Light breakfast
11:00am Sunbathe
12:00pm Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:30pm Shopping
2:30pm Run into boyfriends ex, notice she's gained 30 pounds
3:00pm Facial massage and nap
7:30pm Candle light dinner for two and dancing
10:00pm Make love
11:00pm Pillow talk in his big strong arms
p/s: master the methods to make a woman laugh at http://simurl.com/makewomanlaugh
10:00am Wake up
10:02am Oral sex
10:15am Big breakfast
11:30am Drive up the coast in Ferrari with gorgeous blonde with big jugs
2:15pm Enormous lunch
3:00pm Oral sex
3:15pm Play sports with the guys
4:00pm Drink beer with guys
6:00pm Meet Claudia Schiffer
6:10pm Oral sex
6:25pm Huge dinner, more beer
11:00pm Full on, get down, gorilla sex
The Perfect Day According to ... HER
8:45am Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00am 5 pounds lighter on the scale
9:30am Light breakfast
11:00am Sunbathe
12:00pm Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:30pm Shopping
2:30pm Run into boyfriends ex, notice she's gained 30 pounds
3:00pm Facial massage and nap
7:30pm Candle light dinner for two and dancing
10:00pm Make love
11:00pm Pillow talk in his big strong arms
p/s: master the methods to make a woman laugh at http://simurl.com/makewomanlaugh
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Fwd email: Punctuation is powerful
An English professor wrote the words:
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful!
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful!
PR: 
LD: 
I: 
Rank: 
C: 
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Secret of a Happy Married Life
| Secret of a Happy Married Life Once James asked Chong, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?" Chong said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems." James asked, "Can you explain?" Chong said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions." Still not convinced, James asked Chong "Give me some examples" Chong said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it" James asked, "Then what is your role?" Chong said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether to widen the African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these". |
SD: Thursday, November 13, 2008
How to make women laugh... and FALL IN LOVE with you
You should know that humor is important for dating and laughter can swiftly open up a woman's heart. Whenever your interaction with a woman is a bit flat or if you happen to be in a difficult or embarrassing situation, you can always use humor to boost the dynamics or diffuse the tension.
And humor is a common trait of men who are good with women. It demonstrates confidence, a light outlook on life and the ability to have fun (together with others).
Unfortunately, not every man can be said to be humorous.
Sure, almost any man can crack a joke or two, but not every man can do it with consistency and make any woman laugh at any time, any place? Even worse, there's a common misconception claiming that humor is quality for a small group of "gifted" man. Some men think "I'm just not born to be funny guy. What can I possibly do?"
But the fact is, the "sense" of humor CAN be acquired through learning and practicing. Making women laugh is a science, because human beings' reactions to different types of "humor stimuli" are predictable, and there are tested-and-proven methods to match a piece of humor with a subject's education, personality, and cultural background to induce laughter.
Any man -- regardless of looks, intelligence, wealth, education, personality, cultural background, location, etc. -- can unleash his power of humor to make women laugh and fall in love. And it doesn't matter if you already have a good sense of humor, or if you frequently get "caught off guard" when certain dating situations demand funny and smart responses.
So here's the good news:
Renowned dating coach Martin Merrill has specifically designed a course to train men how to be more humorous in dating. If you would like to be empowered with the ability to make any woman laugh at any time and any place, then you've got to check out How to Make Women Laugh
And humor is a common trait of men who are good with women. It demonstrates confidence, a light outlook on life and the ability to have fun (together with others).
Unfortunately, not every man can be said to be humorous.
Sure, almost any man can crack a joke or two, but not every man can do it with consistency and make any woman laugh at any time, any place? Even worse, there's a common misconception claiming that humor is quality for a small group of "gifted" man. Some men think "I'm just not born to be funny guy. What can I possibly do?"
But the fact is, the "sense" of humor CAN be acquired through learning and practicing. Making women laugh is a science, because human beings' reactions to different types of "humor stimuli" are predictable, and there are tested-and-proven methods to match a piece of humor with a subject's education, personality, and cultural background to induce laughter.
Any man -- regardless of looks, intelligence, wealth, education, personality, cultural background, location, etc. -- can unleash his power of humor to make women laugh and fall in love. And it doesn't matter if you already have a good sense of humor, or if you frequently get "caught off guard" when certain dating situations demand funny and smart responses.
So here's the good news:
Renowned dating coach Martin Merrill has specifically designed a course to train men how to be more humorous in dating. If you would like to be empowered with the ability to make any woman laugh at any time and any place, then you've got to check out How to Make Women Laugh
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
