Monday, February 6, 2012

choose wife

 Choosing a wife


A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

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The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.



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The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.


Again, the man is impressed.



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The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the £5,000. She gives him back his £5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.





Obviously, the man was impressed.





The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.



Then
he married the one with the biggest tits.



Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research... This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

life balance sheet

Awesome reminder on the need to have a Balanced Life - balancing your balance sheet .....
   
Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill

Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Some very Good and Very bad things ..
The most destructive habit....... ........ ......Worry
The greatest Joy......... ......... ......... ....Giving
The greatest loss..................Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work......... ........Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....... .......Selfishness
The most endangered species..... ....Dedicated
leaders
Our greatest natural resource.... ......... ......Our youth

The greatest 'shot in the arm'........ .Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.... ......... ...Fear
The most effective sleeping pill....... Peace of mind
The most crippling
failure disease...... .......Excuses

The most powerful force in life........ ........... Love
The most dangerous act.............................. .A gossip
The world's most incredible computer.... ....The brain
The worst thing to be without..... ......... ..... Hope

The deadliest weapon...... ........ .........The tongue
The two most power-filled words....... .... 'I Can'
The greatest asset....... .......... ......... ...........Faith
The most worthless emotion.... .......... ....Self- pity

The most beautiful attire...... ......... .........SMILE!
The most prized possession.. ........ .....Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ..Prayer
The most contagious spirit...... ......... ......Enthusiasm

Life ends;
when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends;
when you stop Believing,
Love ends;
when you stop Caring,
And Friendship ends;
when you stop Sharing...!!!