'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Sorenti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
joke email : Who is Clever? Teacher or student?
Who is clever? Teacher or student?
(REALLY FUNNY)
One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night
And Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night
and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car!
all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test..
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days.
They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean.
The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test,
All four were required to sit in seperate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name......... .......... ........( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?............ ....( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right .....!!!
(REALLY FUNNY)
One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night
And Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night
and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car!
all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test..
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days.
They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean.
The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test,
All four were required to sit in seperate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name......... .......... ........( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?............ ....( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right .....!!!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Does Management know their Staff?
Does Management know their Staff?
On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company noticed a
young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question,
he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and
gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working,
not for standing around looking pretty!
Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that
applies to everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I
just fired?"
To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"
Make money full-time as a freelance writer, and fire your boss. Click here for info >>
On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company noticed a
young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question,
he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and
gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working,
not for standing around looking pretty!
Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that
applies to everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I
just fired?"
To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"
Make money full-time as a freelance writer, and fire your boss. Click here for info >>
Sunday, November 1, 2009
motivational tips : 2 cents
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio!!!
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4 Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
34. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
35. Your children get only one childhood.
36. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
37. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
38. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
40. The best is yet to come.
41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43.. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Speed dating in Malaysia
Real fun speed dating events. High success rate .A new way to
find love & meet new people.
www.click-together.com
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4 Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
34. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
35. Your children get only one childhood.
36. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
37. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
38. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
40. The best is yet to come.
41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43.. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Speed dating in Malaysia
Real fun speed dating events. High success rate .A new way to
find love & meet new people.
www.click-together.com
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