Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Management Cartoons






Monday, September 29, 2008

FACTBOX:
What is melamine, and why add it to milk?
25 Sep 2008 09:22:03 GMT Source: Reuters
Sept 25 (Reuters) - The World Health Organisation and UNICEF said on Thursday China's contaminated milk powder scandal was 'deplorable' as more countries in Asia and Europe banned imports of Chinese milk products. Here are some questions and answers on China's widening toxic milk scandal and the people and companies it is affecting:

WHAT IS MELAMINE? -- Melamine is a white powder used in plastic-making. It was first synthesised by a German scientist in the 1830s.

WHAT IS IT USED FOR? -- Its most common form, melamine resin, a mix of melamine and formaldehyde, is used in the manufacture of formica, floor tiles, whiteboards and kitchenware.

WHY ADD MELAMINE TO MILK POWDER? -- Melamine is rich in nitrogen, and relatively cheap. Adding it to sub-standard or watered-down milk makes the milk's protein level appear higher. Standard quality tests estimate protein levels by measuring nitrogen content.

IS THIS WHY IT WAS ADDED TO PET FOOD? -- Yes. Melamine was linked to the deaths of cats and dogs in the United States last year after it was added to wheat gluten and other pet food ingredients exported from China, in another attempt to boost the products' apparent protein content.

WHO HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY THE TOXIC MILK? -- So far four infants have died in China, and about 13,000 more have been hospitalised after drinking the contaminated milk. -- Four Hong Kong children have also become sick after consuming toxic Chinese milk powder. -- More than 80 percent of the sick are under two years old. Young babies that depend solely on milk are most vulnerable.

WHAT ARE THE LONG-TERM HEALTH EFFECTS? -- Little scientific information exists about the compound's effects on humans. However, even if victims who have developed have kidney stones due to tainted milk consumption have these removed, the melamine could crystallise in small kidney tubes and block connecting ducts, resulting in kidney damage or even renal failure, health experts fear.

WHICH COUNTRIES ARE AFFECTED? -- More than 20 mostly Asian and African countries -- Bangladesh, Bhutan, Britain, Brunei, Burundi, Canada, China, France, Gabon, Ghana, Hong Kong, India, Japan, Malaysia, Myanmar, the Philippines, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, Tanzania, Togo, Vietnam, and Yemen -- have all either pulled products off shelves, banned China dairy imports, or stepped up their tests.

WHICH CHINESE COMPANIES ARE IMPLICATED? -- 22 Chinese companies have been listed as producing the tainted milk powder. See FACTBOX [ID:nPEK20969] for a list.

WHICH JOINT VENTURES ARE INVOLVED? -- New Zealand dairy giant Fonterra, the business partner of Sanlu Group, China's top seller of infant milk powder and the first to go public with melamine contamination, has cut the value of its 43 percent stake in Sanlu to about $42 million. It said the writedown reflected the damage done to Sanlu by the scandal. -- Danish-Swedish dairy cooperative Arla's Chinese joint venture Mengniu Arla's baby formula is also implicated.
Source: Reuters (Writing by Gillian Murdoch, Beijing Editorial Reference Unit; Editing by Valerie Lee) ((gill.murdoch.reuters.com@reuters.net; +8610 6627 1289))

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

it's nearly the weekend




Can You smell Friday?


I tell you, ya . . . It's Friday !!! I can smell it. . . . the weekend's getting closer !!!

Put your hands in da air and wave 'em like you just don't care. . . . cause IT'S FRIDAY ! It's time to do the Friday dance



Have a great weekend !

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Some Good Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sunday, September 21, 2008

11 persons...

11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a
helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not
strong enough to carry them all, so they decided
that one had to leave, because otherwise they were
all going to fall. They weren't able to name that
person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in
general, and was used to always making sacrifices
with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Anger Management*

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!"
and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole calling"
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Verizon.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole 1.

"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah! Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called Asshole 2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Funny Signs

Have a fun-filled day... ;)





Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Kids...what do we do without them....

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was: A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

*********************************************

Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted. A little girl said, 'I know all about adoption, I was adopted..' 'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked another child. 'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!'

*********************************************

On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League base ball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was. 'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered with a smile. 'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you don't look very discouraged.' 'Discouraged?', the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face... 'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet.'

*********************************************

Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. 'Guess what, Mom,' he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me.....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.'

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

TIMES ARE TOUGH...

A colleague forwarded these comics last few months..





Monday, September 15, 2008

A WOMAN'S POEM vs A MAN'S POEM

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

------------

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with

huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This

doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

The End

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Super Inventions (part 3)

The final part of super inventions...











Saturday, September 13, 2008

Super Inventions (part 2)

If only these are available in the market at cheap prices ...





Friday, September 12, 2008

Super Inventions (part 1)

THESE ARE NEAT!
SOMEONE IS THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX!!!






Thursday, September 11, 2008

FW: Chinese + English = Chinglish



You might like it.

This is hilarious... even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.

Not only did he do it 1 to10, he did it again from 10 back to 1.

This is whathe came up with..... 1 day I go 2 climb

a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed

out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven

and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at

him. 10 God he run away. 10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven.

Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6.

He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He

also asked me to go climb a 3and jump down. I don't understand. I am so nice 2

him but I don't know what he 1.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Cute and Funny Emails Pics

More cute and funny emails pics I got in my inbox



Monday, September 8, 2008

An unfortunate thing happened the other day...!

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?''

I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.

'BOB's funeral will be on Friday

Why bicycle shorts are always black!!

Why bicycle shorts are always black!!

Black:
and NOT Red: